In previous blogs about my journey leading up to and through radiotherapy I have talked about how I was experiencing extreme weakness. However, when I look back I can see that God was truly carrying me and strengthening me through that time.
Some time after having radiotherapy I did a piece of artwork that became very symbolic to me of how God changed me through my radiotherapy treatment period.
The artwork originated as a pastel work of a flower that I scanned into my computer and then played around with. While doing this, one image in particular really caught my eye. This was it:
To me this picture represented a woman with her head bowed down in submission and surrender. She has one arm stretching out, wanting to move forward; the other arm reaching up to heaven giving thanks to God for His holding her future. To me this portrayed a woman of strength. Even though this isn’t how the world perceives strength, it was very much how my strength was growing.
I had my eye on the future and was reaching out towards it, wanting to move into wellness again. But at the same time didn’t have the strength in myself to do so. It was only in submitting and surrendering to God and allowing His joy to fill me (what the yellow in the picture represents) that I found the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
10 years on from my having radiotherapy and doing this piece of art, I feel that this picture, done all those years ago, still represents me. I continually want to move forward in my life and to move on from pain and weakness and into a place of joy, strength and freedom. However, in order to do so I continually have to surrender to God and rely on Him for strength. All the while I am being filled with joy - which is what the yellow in this picture represents.