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During the period that I had depression I wrote a lot. In doing so I shared my journey with God and with my journal. This blog is the beginning of a series that will just be some of the pieces that I wrote at the time, occasionally with a bit of explanation as to the circumstances that led to my writing them.
One big thing that I struggled with greatly during this time was in knowing who I really was as an individual. I only knew who I was in the light of who my friends were but that didn’t seem to be enough. This experience of depression was when I first began to seek God to try and find out who He had actually created me to be.
Who am I when I stand alone? – JUNE 1998
Who am I when I stand alone?
Who am I when I’m on my own?
Am I what others perceive is me,
Or am I who God has planned me to be?
Do I have an identity
That is based on God or friends?
Who am I without them?
On this my future depends
Do I walk each day in the knowledge
That I’m an heir to the throne?
Do I have the humility
To know that I’m not this on my own?
Do I let God shine through my life
Because he lives in me?
Does it show through in my life
That I’ve been made pure and holy?
Do I claim my ground with confidence
Knowing the devil can’t touch me?
Do I really know my Saviour,
The one who has set me free?
Do I believe that I am the salt of the world
And that to other’s lives I can add flavour?
Do I know that I can’t earn God’s love,
That it isn’t a passing favour.
Do I understand that
I am a temple of the Holy Spirit?
And that to abuse my body
Is to abuse what is in it.
Am I aware of who I am in Christ
Of who I can become,
Because of God’s precious sacrifice
His only begotten Son
I am but a weak little lamb
Someone wanting to just be
And by the grace of God
I am who I am
Because He has set me free.
