The following Dictaphone entry was so quiet, because of the
extreme weakness I was experiencing, that I had to listen to it several times
to hear what was said.
“It’s weird but I’ve been thinking of late about caterpillars
and butterflies. For the first part of a butterfly’s life it is a relatively
boring, camouflaged creature. For the 2nd phase of its life it goes
into seeming hibernation. During this stage in the life of a butterfly nothing
seems to be happening, and yet the most amazing transformation is occurring.
After the period of unseen development it emerges as a beautiful butterfly.
I’m beginning to wonder if that is what this time is, if this
is my cocoon stage and that maybe, just maybe, I will one day emerge from this
as a beautiful butterfly and will be able to spread my wings and fly.”